You won’t get the most out of networking if you make these 4 common mistakes

Unsplash / Alexis Brown

It takes courage to walk up to complete strangers and start talking to them.

Learning to network well is a useful skill for any job.

Put simply, it opens doors, allowing you to share information and make connections with people that could help you get ahead in your career.

It also provides an opportunity to get to know people you wouldn’t necessarily meet in your day-to-day life.

As useful as networking is, it can also be pretty intimidating. It takes courage to walk up to complete strangers and start talking to them, so it’s no surprise that many people don’t get the most out of their networking opportunities.

Psychologist Dr Ronald Riggio, a professor of leadership and organisational psychology at Claremont McKenna College, California, says effective networking is critical for career success.

He spoke to Business Insider about how to make the most of networking events, highlighting the things people do which make networking a less valuable experience. Here are four common mistakes people make, and how you can rectify them.

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1. Not actually listening.

A big mistake people make, Riggio says, is not taking the time to listen to the people they meet. Often you may find colleagues are waiting for their chance to speak, rather than really listening, so try not to be one of those people.

Instead of focusing on what you want to say, ask questions and show you’re interested in getting to know the people you meet. You’ll probably find it’s a much more rewarding experience, and they might remember you better if you take a real interest.

2. Seeing it as a ‘chore.’

Riggio says people sometimes see networking events as an unavoidable “chore” rather than a good opportunity. Seeing it as a necessary evil means you’re probably setting yourself up to fail.

To get over this idea, Riggio says you should try and use networking to find out interesting things about others. Don’t think about the event as full of colleagues who you’ll have nothing in common with. Instead, see it as an opportunity to learn interesting things about new people.

In a blog post on Psychology Today, psychologist Dr Ben Dattner said only networking when you “have to” means you’re more likely to feel anxious and stress yourself out. Rather than focusing what you need to get out of the event, try to think of what you can offer others from the experience.

3. Too much self-promotion.

Don’t dominate the conversation, and don’t make it all about your own achievements, Riggio warns. Rather than setting off on a rant about everything you’ve achieved, simply introduce yourself and tell your new contact something interesting about yourself that can be a conversation starter.

For example, you could say: “I’m a real estate agent and you might be surprised about some of the things that buyers are looking for in a house.”

Dattner says a common mistake is keeping the people you meet updated about your accomplishments, when a better thing to do is to actually keep track of theirs. People are generally more interested in starting up a conversation with someone who takes a genuine interest in them.

4. Not getting to know anyone properly.

The more people you meet and talk to, the easier it gets to meet more. Riggio says one of the biggest mistakes you can make is viewing networking as a means to an end, instead of an opportunity to broaden your horizons. 

A good way to ensure you put yourself out there is by ending every conversation by giving the person your card, or contact details, and giving them a reason to contact you. For example, if you’re in the legal sector you could say: “If you ever need legal advice on what we were talking about, give me a call.”

Dattner says social intelligence plays a big part in networking effectively. Knowing what the people around you care about and value makes it easier for you to be helpful to them — and thus more likely they will think of you and contact you. People are much more appreciative of people who offer their assistance rather than people who make demands.

Read more stories on Business Insider, Malaysian edition of the world’s fastest-growing business and technology news website.